Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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