thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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