Banned from zoo.
Again?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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