they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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