so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
