I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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