from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
