you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
