My nipple is on Facebook.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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