something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
