Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
