if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i need some magic done to my vagina
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
