sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
