I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
