i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
