What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
