Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize