your room smells of hookers.
And success
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
