I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
