perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
