why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
