you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
