He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
