is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
operation have a gay friend backfired
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize