i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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