I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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