I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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