I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
