You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize