these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
