Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
