You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
