This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize