Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
