If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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