they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
you made out with another girl for some wings
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
