Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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