this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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