so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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