If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
