Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
