But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
