do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
