its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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