butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize