dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
barbara walters just said penis...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
