We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
