sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
