I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
