At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize