i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
