I can tuck mytits in my pants
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize