I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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