My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is classic penis vs brain.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
