I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
