I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
