so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
