Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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