hotel room ftw
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
