Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
