his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
