Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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