I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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